Wednesday, 18 September 2013

A step deeper in to hairfetish

I started to really explore some of the parts of hairfetishm  just a few years ago. It was also when I realized that I was a hairfetishist in many ways! The start was thrilling, exciting and full of pleasure as well as filled with fear, balancing on the edge of what was ok for my limits and pushing me- making me for some parts living one of my worst nightmares/fears.

The evening, standing in front of a big bed where some of my toys where lined up, rope, cuffs and collar, pair of handcuffs and duck tape (amazing that you can use it for almost everything!)
I was asked to take some of my clothes off, no biggie yet all normal part of play. But when he said we're going to get wet my first thourht was What??
Nervous but at the same time filled with excitement I obeyed. The little I had been allowed to know about this evening was that - dominance, bondage and my hair was in center! So while thoughts of scenarios was rumaging around my mind I was lead into the bathroom and the shower. All of a sudden helplessness came over me and without me realizing it he had started to take my hair down from the bun I had it in. Nobody! I really mean Nobody! had been allowed to do that for years! One of my phobias is that somebody detangling it will ruin it! And Especially not without asking me!  I was now feeling more nervous and at the same time excited/relaxed... weird mix...

For me having someone (especially dominant male! ) in my hair is a big deal and is always connected with feelings. The one holding my hair has to a big extent the power over me and a big part of my feelings. Panic and fear got to me when I realized he was going to wash my hair.- nice many of you might think. For me it really was mixed emotions! I love having someone take care of my hair - somebody I know can do it- but at the same time I'm out of control -helpless. Know I might sound just a tiny bit freaky and shallow now, but don't get me wrong here I do love to feel helpless and I really like having people playing in my hair - as long as they dont destroy it or cut it!!

After I had my hair slowly washed I was lead out of the shower and told to sit down- cuffs were put on and of course my collar. He started to detangle my hair- I felt naked nervous and helpless when he started to run his fingers through it and combing it.Strangely though  my body got to submode quite quick and I felt chills going up and down my spine. I now know that these feelings are a big trigger for me.(didn't at the time though) But then again having someone play in your hair is a huge turn on for many not kinky people as well! So imagine what it can do to a sub and a hairfetishst one! Explosion!

An hour or so later I was told to lay on the bed and he lay down beside me for a while, with his attention to my hair- what an odd yet thrilling feeling that was! I had never had anybody turned on by my hair like that before! And that turned me on as well. Weird why was I getting turned on by that ?- ( need to explain why in another post) He was running his fingers over my hair, combing it while he was tying me to the bed. Both hands and feet became tied and A BLINDFOLD.- Now all my senses was on high alert something was coming!!

Because of my fear for scissors, razors and trimmers - well  everything that can harm my hair really I was so nervous, he knew my weakness... At first I just heard him moving around then I heard a dreading sound- the clippers ------ heartattack!! I started to scream no, please, begging... when the clippers was close to my ears I stopped breathing. He was saying things in my ear, not to scream, trust me this will be a good thing, it's just the begining.. (well that wasn't a complete lie..)
My panic started to grow when I felt the clippers on my forhead, feelt scissors then I felt hair falling down... Full Alert!! I screamed and screamed but his hand was put over my mouth, him telling me it's going to be ok, I can trust him - I was very close to tears now and inside I was screaming and crying.

He stopped with the scissors, made me promise to stay still and he removed the blindfold. When the blindfold was off,  I had him sitting on my stomach to make sure I was not to move - the knot in my stomach was growing by the second. He then tells me to look into his eyes- tells me that he did promise everything was to be OK. And actually it was- My hair was still there length and all. !!
Calm just spread through my body. I felt Happy !!

The cuffs was still on - but released from the bed and put in a balltie. I was just able to relax and enjoy the rest ;) and also the kick and thrill the session had given me!